Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Monday, February 23, 2009

In case you are not familiar with our work

1. You've done extensive landscaping work during the summers.
2. You get annoyed when the snobs you work with in the King of Prussia area have no idea what a "twin home" or a "student loan" is.
3. It took you 5 years to graduate from a state school (chances are you attended a satellite campus with the word DELCO in the title for thefirst two years).
4. You believe "bar crawls" a.k.a., a "Pike Hike" is something that is normal when you're well past your early twenties.
5. You constantly complain about going to the same bars and seeing thesame people, yet when you venture somewhere "outside your realm", you huddle in the corner with your friends and talk about how everyone inthis place is a tool/geek/spaz/etc.
6. You have a DUI.
7. Your father has mutliple DUI's.
8. Your source of "world news" is the DELCO TIMES....yes, that's right, the paper that had a snapshot from the Marple Newtown / Ridley fieldhockey game on the front cover the day after the Tsunami hit.
9. You know what a "day load" is....and better yet...... you know how to put one on and make it until 2 a.m.
10. You're sick and tired of explaining to people that you're not too old for Sea Isle. Don't apologize for the fact that you have no desire to go to Avalon and Stone Harbor and begin drinking at a "reasonable hour." I'll see you at the "No Shower" happy hour or catch you on the next Erin Express. If you don't what either of those are, you shouldn't be reading this list.
11. Not only does the following sentence make sense to you, it describes your favorite day of the year: "Today I'm taking the trolley from the Trophy Tavern down to the El to go to the parade." Say that sentence to one of those Episcopal/St. Joe's Prep/Malvern grads you work with and get ready for the most confused look you've ever seen.
12. You're a bartender (or you may be a 26 yr. old barBACK waiting for your "big break")
13. You have shared a bedroom at your parent's house with a sibling at a weird age (we'll ballpark this at 16 and above. very weird.)
14. You can't accept the fact that it's not normal to go out drinking hard on weeknights past the age of 22. If you don't believe me on thisone, go to Maggie O'Neill's on any random Sunday night. Even though Monday is considered the busiest day of the week for normal people, this place looks god damn Mardi Gras.
15. The ratio of bars to bookstores in you neighborhood is 47:1.....notquite Bryn Mawr, huh?
16. You don't spend Thankgiving day with your family, but rather start drinking in the morning on your way to see your grade school football team play. Congratulations, you're not only an alcoholic, but your glorydays go back to grade school. Even Springsteen wouldn't sing aboutthis pathetic display.
17. You walked to high school. Tell this to the same person you talkedto about reason #1 and watch their eyes cross as they squeeze the keys to their Saab.
18. You have no idea what's at the end of the Blue Route (does it even end?)
19. While some refer to traveling as "backpacking through Europe", your idea is more along the lines of going to Cancun about a decade to late when you're 27 and hanging onto your youth by the skin of your teeth. Good thing you still live with parents, loser.
20. When describing someone else from Delco, you say their name, state that you know them, say they're a good guy/girl, and then say their high school or the parish they're from. example, "yeah, John Doe, he's a good guy, Bonner/St. Bernie's guy, coaches football for (fill in Delco school here) and bartends at (fill in Delco bar here).

Holy Supermodel and the craziest man in Delco

Leah says: As the holy supermodel, I will attest to the fact that only in Delco can you go to mass with your grandmom, have a lovely brunch with your girlfriends, and end up at a bar at 4pm with a crazy man who not only gives you the finger in a photo but adamantly insists that we all must "not dis-spect wawa", claim that he sees your friend at Duffer's (ew) "all the time" even though she hasn't been there in 7 years, and make crazy faces to the point that someone needs to ask him if he is going to be okay. Not to mention the fact that his shirt has fruit punch stains all over it, but it's okay, no-one even notices, because that is just delco.